The accidental humorist

The other day, I was having a hell of a time thinking of something beginning with the letter N that Sam could bring to school for "Share Day." We were running late and trying to get out the door without forgetting anything, and I asked him what to bring that started with N. He thought about it for a minute, and then came up with the ultimate solution: Nothing.

N is for...uh, I don't know

Friday is "Share Day" at Sam's school and he is supposed to bring in an item that starts with the letter of the week. This week we're on letter N. Believe me, I have tried and tried to come up with something that he can show, or even tell, that begins with N and I am horrified to admit that I can't come up with a single appropriate thing. The kids already made noodle necklaces today (hey! those were my 2 ideas!) and tomorrow for snack time they're making nachos, so I am done. Nunchuck? Noose? I don't think so. Last week we kicked some preschool ass with Hess helicopter and now we're in trouble. Nookie? There's always the Norway guidebook, but that is super lame, and I doubt that the 4 year-olds really care what Arthur Frommer has to say. Nantucket? Kids love limericks, right? Sam can't spell, so he doesn't know what starts with N, and Jon will fall out of his chair laughing if I tell him I can't think of anything. Nightmare? You betcha! Please (!!) leave me your ideas in the comments...I am going to take a nap.

image: mosaicartsource.com

Hi, bowling!

Sam is fascinated with bowling. Every day when we pick him up at school, we drive by the local bowling alley where he had his 4th birthday party. He usually says "Hi bowling" and waves, but lately he has started to ask me to take him bowling again. It's tough when he is so young, since he can't hold the ball very well and slips around in those funky shoes, but he loves it. I have to admit that my favorite part of bowling is the pitcher of beer, so I haven't taken him after school yet. It's fun as a family activity, but I am not sure I want to tackle it with just Sam. He is so cute that he might convince me...I'll keep you posted.

And the bathroom fun continues...

After Sam's successful bathtime survival game, I was having a hard time thinking of another adventure for his next bath. Sure, we had toys he could play with, but that's not exactly playing a survival game, is it? So I finally settled on moving the game to the shower, and we decided that he was in California where wild fires burn and need to be put out by special survivalists. I gave him some special "fire extinguishing foam" in a red can (yes, the can color is important because all kids know that red = fire!) and got his goggles to protect his eyes. After a quick wash, I gave him the can and closed the door with the only these instructions: don't spray your face, and put out those fires! And put them out he did.

Stop and smell the daisies!

Sometimes there is nothing more beautiful than artwork done by a child. Look at the amazing job that 4 year old Sam did on this milk jug turned vase. With foam brushes and some craft paint he was able to mix colors and go crazy. We filled the painted jug with some water and added my favorite flowers, gerber daisies, in cream and light peach. Amazing!

These pants were made for travelling

Ok, I admit it, I am a bit of a Man vs. Wild freak. Yes, Sam and I use our survival skills to stay dry in the tub, and even Jon gets into it playing camera man in the pool. By now, you should know how I feel about those amazing pants that Bear Grylls wears - the ones with the reinforced knees. Part of my planning for the home exchange requires some clever packing, since we are only taking one bag each, and I was looking for clothes for the kids that are designed especially for travel. Perhaps it's because I am not...well...sporty...but I had no idea that this stuff existed. There are shirts that wick moisture away from you to keep you dry in hot weather, we all know that, but these have long sleeves! Apparently the long sleeves keep you cooler (!!) than wearing short sleeves. There are pants with zip-off legs to convert into shorts (good for little kids and extreme campers but not so great for anyone else) and shirts with bug repellant built into the fabric. There are even all kinds of clothes made of a special fabric that doesn't stink after you've been travelling all day - I am getting some of that stuff! But the most fun discovery was...you guessed it...the pants with reinforced knees for kids. They even have reinforced butts! I am definitely going to get a pair for Sam.

image: freetradingsystems.net

Just like my sister!

Yesterday Sam was playing with one of my favorite DIY toys, the "dig station." I took a disposible aluminum baking pan from the grocery store, the small square kind that you might make brownies in, filled with dried lima beans that are about the size of a dime, and there you go - instant fun for his little cars and trucks. He fills up his little pick-up trucks and makes deliveries, and goes off road with his mini ATVs. Fun and not too messy, but don't try to get all creative as I originally did and buy dried peas to add color because they just end up on the floor and they are too tiny for little hands to pick up! So he is digging around, and then he starts his favorite new activity, writing his name on everything with a dry erase marker, and I hear him start...S...A...S...A...S.A....S.A...Essay...I am going to write an essay! Just like Sara! So cute!

Sam versus wild!

So for something new and different during last night's bath, I decided to follow in Jon's footsteps and get Sam set up to play his favorite game, Man vs. Wild (remember the pants??). Normally Jon and Sam play this game in the pool, and Sam likes to switch back and forth between playing Bear Grylls and being the camera man. Jon wrestles with the raft and Sam laughs his infectious belly laugh, and they have a great time out there. So last night we tried something a little different, and I cut a rain poncho down to his size and he pretended that he was crossing a river and trying to keep dry. Ultimately the poncho tore a little, and then he switched into poncho destruction mode and basically ripped it into pieces. Game over? No way! We tied the smaller pieces to make a bag, and then Sam filled the bags with water to transport his fish that he caught for his dinner. I will need to make a fire, he told me, to cook my fish. It is amazing what kids can do when they use their imaginations. He wants to have a shower tonight instead of a bath, and I am going to have to come up with something pretty good after last night's adventures. Any suggestions?

Home exchange on the rebound?

photo: Leila Haj-Hassan

One morning I sent a home exchange inquiry to a posting in a French town with a name I didn't recognize, letting them know (in English) that I was looking for a year-long exchange. A gentleman responded almost immediately that indeed he was interested, but I didn't quite understand the rest of his message, which was in English. We switched into French and he let me know that he would like to exchange for 6 months, and that he and his wife could also offer us 2 weeks of hospitality to show us the sights before they went to our place. I looked up the town and it's a suburb of Paris, about 6 miles from the city center. Wow! I had a million questions: where are the nearby schools, do they have reliable high-speed internet for my husband's work, how does the public transportation system work, are any of the schools English-speaking? He, on the other hand, didn't have a single question. Not a one. He wanted to exchange starting the following month, which was much too short notice for us, so we settled on a 6 month exchange for the 2nd half of the Parisian school year (February to July). Because we wanted to spend the whole school year abroad, he suggested we find another family in Paris and arrange a consecutive exchange with them, starting off the school year with the other family and then moving on to their place. Excited to find something, I told him that I would start looking for the "first" exchange and would keep him posted on my progress. I emailed him again and told him I would be happy to answer any questions about our home or about our area, but he just said he didn't have any questions, he and his wife were just looking for relaxation. I thought it was odd but figured he was older and maybe that's just his way.

So after about a week, I emailed the French exchanger after to let him know that per his advice we were still looking for another exchange, but we hadn't forgotten about him and wanted to know what the next step was. Yay, we were very excited and Sam was starting to ask me about France. He responded back that unfortunately, because he was due to leave for the States within 2 weeks, he would have to decline our offer. What!!?? I read and re-read his message, and then copied it into Google's translator just to make sure I wasn't totally crazy. Nope, I understood it - he was blowing us off. Tempted as I was to send him a nasty message, I didn't want to blow the exchange so I said that I didn't understand, I thought we had agreed on an exchange in February so why was he coming to the States in 2 weeks? Was it for a different exchange? No, he said, we did have an agreement for February but he didn't want to wait any longer for us to make a decision, and so he would give us one week to decide if we still wanted to exchange. Huh?? I referred him back to me original message, and again said that yes, we are on board, ready to go, and would like to take the next step toward fixing exact dates with him. I apologized for my poor French, and hoped he understood. I didn't hear from him for 4 days. 4 days! I wasn't sure what to think, when he finally replied back to me:

Je ne peux plus vous attendre. Malheureusement, je dois décliner votre offre pour septembre. Cordialement.

I can't wait for you any longer. Unfortunately, I have to decline your offer for September. Regards. September? This guy wasn't making sense in his own language, no translator was going to help me with this problem. But this was Paris. Paris!! So, of course, I started writing back to him. We are prepared to purchase plane tickets for your offer of a home exchange from February to July. Are you still interested in making this exchange? But before I sent the email I started to think about it. If this man didn't seem trustworthy, or even coherent, over email, did I really want to set my kids up for disappointment and set myself up for non-refundable plane tickets? Would I want this man staying in my home even if the exchange did work out? I knew the answer was no, but like a bad relationship, I just didn't want to let go. I didn't know at the time that a great opportunity was just around the corner.

Paper Doll Heaven?

photo: Davide Guglielmo

Remember making these paper dolls as a kid? I used to make these all the time with my Mom, and then we would decorate each of the dolls with crayons and even glitter (!!), and sometimes even make clothes for them. I don't remember how to make them anymore and I want to make them with the kids. Does anyone know how to do it??

Speaking of missing things...

Earlier I was writing about childhood, and it made me think about play-doh. Remember the way a brand new, never-been-touched-before can of play-doh felt between your fingers, the way it squished out of your fingers as you squeezed it so tightly? I wanted Sam to have the same experience and was looking for a way to make it a fun thing we could do together. I found a recipe for DIY play dough courtesy of Instructables and got to work. Instead of using food coloring full of dyes and other nasty bits (I don't know why but I've started using more and more British phrases lately), I bought some individual packets of Kool Aid and once I finished making the dough, I divided it into 2 sections and added a packet of Kool Aid to each. It takes a quick kneading to incorporate all the Kool Aid crystals into the dough, and the Kool Aid also scents the dough with memories of childhood summers. The dough felt amazing between my fingers and I was transported back for a minute...until I almost burned myself on the sauce pan that I had used. In any case, Sam and I had a fun time making our dough and it was so easy and inexpensive that I am pretty sure some of you will be getting this for Christmas this year.

Being a kid

photo: Nick Cowie

Yesterday I went for a walk with my 4 year old son, Sam. Momma, he asked me, if I step on a crack, will your back get broken?

My heart melted and I started thinking about the innocence of childhood. I can remember looking forward to being old enough to ride my bike across the street alone. If I made it, I would be able to buy a pack of the coveted chocolate gum for 16 cents. I remember being so proud when I turned 10 that I was finally a "double digit." I wouldn't be able to sleep the night before our family left for our annual month-long beach vacation because I was so excited to see my friends again. I didn't worry if they would still like me, or if our rental home would be clean enough, or how I would pay my bills after taking a month off from work. All I needed to think about was finding my friends and when I would get my chocolate gum. What a luxurious vacation!