Friday, September 19, 2008

Herb Alpert, Self Portrait, 1998. Acrylic on canvas.

So the other day I was driving home and I got stuck behind a van for an retirement center, one of those expensive places called Sunlake Mountains or Stratford Gardens or something hopeful like that. The van seemed to be picking up people, perhaps to go to a cooking class, or maybe even the theater, and as we were driving into my neighborhood it got me thinking. Is this like the ice cream truck for old people? When the van drives into the neighborhoods, does it blast some kind of elevator music instead of the carnival music ice cream trucks play? What kid of music would it play, exactly? Some Sinatra classics? Perhaps a little Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass? It would drive slowly down the street, but unlike the ice cream trucks for younger, more sprightly folk, the Stratford Gardens van would have to go around twice. By the time it made its second pass, the customer would have made it from the living room to the curb. And speaking of Herb Alpert, did you know that he donated $13 million dollars last year to charity, making him the second most philanthropic celebrity of 2008, second only to Oprah! That's right, you know him as the Grammy winning trumpet player, but he was also the founder of A & M Records. Guess we know what the "A" stands for now...because clearly the "M" stands for money!

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